Nariah says… #110

Posted: April 14, 2018 in Comedy, Family, Fatherhood, Nariah, Uncategorized
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Nariah came into soccer because her current coach noticed she had speed. Fast speed. Not really any skills… Just really fast speed. But… he said the skills will come and he wants to work with that speed. That was a few years ago and fast forward to now, the soccer parents have nicknamed her “the rocket” because of her speed. (See what I did there, “fast forward… 😉)

Nariah went on a trip today to a safari zoo and sent back a pic of this cheetah with the caption:

“That’s me. I’m fast like a cheetah”

Since the cheetah was laying there chilling, I replied:

“That cheetah looks slow and lazy. Lol”

“Can cheetahs relax on a hot day? Gosh.”

Guess she shut me up… And fast too, lol

Nariah says… #109

Posted: January 23, 2018 in Comedy, Family, Fatherhood, Nariah
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This showed up in my Facebook feed today from 7 years ago. I don’t know how this event of Nariah at 3 years old didn’t make it into my blog. I guess this will mark my first “Throwback Says Tuesday”, lol..

Toya made some Sloppy Joes for dinner. At a point midway through dinner, Toya goes to the kitchen sink. Nariah disappears from the table in a sneaky hurried type gait. She then comes out of the bathroom with a soggy bun.
Toya : “What are you doing?”
Nariah : “I don’t like Manwiches, I’m rinsing it off so I can have regular bread.”

 

Image result for manwich

Nariah says… #108

Posted: November 1, 2017 in Comedy, Family, Fatherhood, Nariah
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Halloween was last night, and of course I was in character trying to speak like Thor while our family went trick or treating. It was getting late and Nariah and her girlfriends from school were hesitating on which way to continue their journey. I told them, “Fair maidens! We must quicken haste with thy decision before Hera comes at thee!”

Nariah was not amused.

“Daddy, Hera is not Norse….”

Me: blink blink… Blank stare…. Blink blink….

What could I say? I totally meant Hela… And yes, I know the difference between the Greek Hera and the Norse Hela. But at that moment… I felt really dumb.

Why is she so smart? She didn’t have to call me out in front of everybody! Lol

Image result for helaImage may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing and night

Toryn says… #3

Posted: April 3, 2017 in Comedy, Fatherhood, Toryn, Uncategorized
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I know it has been a loooooooong time since I’ve posted to this blog. Things have been pretty busy in the life of an autism parent. I’m striving to do better and get back into blogging… so without further ado, Toryn made me laugh tonight.

We’re sitting on the couch watching tv, just us fellas. Toryn wants something to eat and he pulls me to the pantry. I list off several items until he stops me when I say peaches.
“Cool! We’re gonna eat some peaches… We’re gonna eat some peaches!“. I take him back to the living room and start doing the food vehicle sounds for him while I feed him.

“Car? Ambulance? Fire Truck? Motor cycle?”

“Fire Truck”

“Ok firetruck… annnnnggggghhhhhhh, whoooooooooooweeewooooooooweeeewoooooooo“. He smiles as I bring the spoon closer and he eats it.  I proceed to do this with a boat, helicopter and airplane before I decide to try something new… animals.

“What does a duck say?”
“Quack quack”
“Yup.. here you go! Quack quack quack….” and he eats the peaches.
I do this for a dog, and then a cat, as Toryn gives me the correct answers each time.
Next stop, cow. “How about a cow Toryn? What do they say?”
“Moo“.
For some reason I decided to remix the cow sounds like I was a dj or something. “Moooooooo ma-moo-moo-moooooooo ma-ma-ma-ma-moooooo!”

Toryn gave me this look like “Dude? Really? You know goodness well there is not one cow that sounds like that… Stop it… Just stop it daddy… The game is over… I don’t even want to play anymore…Just give me my peaches“. I felt like he said all of that mentally because he stared at me for a good 10 seconds. I ended up busting out laughing at him, but he was dead serious in pointing out to me that I clearly messed up the cow sound. LOL.

toryn couch

Grilled Pineapple Coconut Sundae

Posted: June 2, 2015 in Desserts, Food, On the grill
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Nariah and I were experimenting with pineapples last week and since we had an extra pineapple we were thinking about ideas to use a whole pineapple in a dessert. A up sprung the idea to grill a whole pineapple! This is a dish that can be served in its own bowl, and was just totally amazing. It can be eaten with and without ice cream, but of course, going all out with ice cream makes it a sundae.

  • 1 whole pineapple, not too ripe (with some green still in it. If its too ripe it may end up too sweet and mushy)
  • cinnamon/sugar
  • shredded coconut
  • Vanilla bean ice cream
  • Maraschino cherries

This is very simple and quick. Prep grill for direct grilling. Slice the pineapple from top to bottom down the middle (even thru the leaves). Next, take your knife and cut across the width of the pineapple almost to the skin as if you were cutting out slices. Then do the same lengthwise. This helps make the pineapple easier to spoon out and eat in the end. Place the pineapple halves open side down on the grill for about 5 mins or until it gets seared a bit. Remove from heat and place right side up. Sprinkle cinnamon sugar over all of the fruit part of the pineapple. (For an adult dessert I suggest pouring some Malibu or your other favorite rum inside the pineapple.) Next sprinkle the coconut inside the “bowl” and also along the sides. Return to grill, this time right side up and cover. Grill until Coconut starts to get toasted slightly, about another 5-10 minutes depending on how much coconut you used.

Remove from grill and onto your serving plates, top with vanilla bean ice cream and cherries or other toppings you may prefer and enjoy this warm and cold dessert!

Nariah says… #107

Posted: December 4, 2014 in Comedy, Nariah
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So I’m sitting here with Nariah and we’re on my laptop looking up some pizza deals to order for dinner. Well on the yahoo front page, there’s the headline stating coach Jay Gruden is “done” with RG3.
“Oh Nariah… look! Washington’s coach is done with RG3!”
“What does that mean?”
“Well it means he doesn’t want him on the team anymore, aint that something?”
“Oh… So now what is he gonna do?…..            Be a loser?”

I had to laugh at that one. Its wrong, but as a cowboys fan, that is funny.

Nariah says… #106

Posted: November 10, 2014 in Comedy, Fatherhood, Nariah
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Nariah and I are both lactose intolerant and have a history of gas wars with each other. Just a lil preface, lol.
So I’ve just picked up Nariah from school and we were on our way to swimming class.

“Daddy… Mommy says I can’t crack my knuckles anymore. She says its bad. Sigh”
“Well… I did ask the doctor about cracking knuckles and necks and whatnot. He explained to me that you have these sacs in between your bones where the joints are, and when you ‘crack’ your knuckles, you’re essentially bursting those sacs which releases gas. And that gas release is the sound you hear. Kinda like bubble wrap we like to pop together? He said I didn’t have anything to worry about.”
“Ooooooh, cool!”

A few moments of silence…

“Excuse me daddy, I just released some gas!”
“Oh no! Gotta roll down the windows! Let it out!!! GET IT OUT!!! Hold your breath!” as I start rolling down the window letting in the cold fall air.

“Daddy…. No. I meant my knuckle gas….”

“Oh….”

LOL

http://bodygurublog.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/knuckle.jpeg

Nariah says… #105

Posted: October 9, 2014 in Comedy, Nariah
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We were driving down to Carolina for my mom’s surprise birthday party last weekend. Coming from DC area that can be anywhere from a 4-8 hour trip depending on the traffic. Of course we are in the age range of hearing the “Are we there yet?” throughout the trip. About 2 hours outside of our destination, Nariah wakes up and asks “How much longer before we get there?”
“Oh… looks like about 120 minutes”
“Awwww man… 120 minutes? How many hours is that?”
“You tell me? How many minutes are in an hour?”
“Do I have to? 60….”
“Yup! Math is everywhere! So if 60 minutes are in one hour, how many hours until we get there?”
“Ugh…. I know its gonna be way more than I want it to be”

Math lesson was officially over as I laughed at that response while she got more annoyed in the back seat and went back to sleep.

 

Nariah says… #104

Posted: August 9, 2014 in Comedy, Family, Nariah
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As some of you know, I do magic, and Nariah has taken an interest in it to a point of even going to a couple of summer magic camps. I’ve been teaching her some tricks here and there and she’s actually has been coming up with her own tricks.

My parents are up for the weekend and Nariah was showing my mom a trick she had come up with. I wasn’t paying attention but I overheard my mom going “Oh my goodness, that was awesome! how did you do that?”
I honestly wasn’t thinking anything of it, that maybe my mom was just being encouraging or something.
Nariah then comes beside me and shows my dad and I’m watching and she actually fooled my dad. He’s all wide eyed going “Whoaaaaaah…. wait… how did you do that???”
As I didn’t teach her this trick, I’m actually impressed with her presentation. “Nariah, you’re getting really good baby! Now you need to come up with your magician name.”
“My what?”
“Your magician name. You know, what you’re gonna call yourself… hmmmm like the great cupcaketini or something like that.”
“Why can’t I just be ‘Ryan Goldman’s Daughter’?”

Awwww I’m touched….

Nariah says… #103

Posted: March 14, 2014 in Comedy, Nariah
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Caught off guard by this one. I picked up Nariah the other day from school and asked how her day went while we headed home. She told me briefly about her day and then asked about mine. I responded about a meeting I had before getting a phone call. After the short phone call…

“Oh yeah…. where was I? Hmmmm…. what else did I do today?”
“You did that?”
“Huh?”
“WOOOW! You did that too?”
“Did what? I didn’t say anyt—”
Nariah cuts me off with “That’s awesome daddy! I can’t believe you did all that today!”
Now I realize she’s playing me for a fool and I can’t help but to laugh.
“Whooooah, you mean to tell me you did all those things and still had time to do that too!?!?! You had a busy day daddy!”
“You’re funny Nariah”
“I’m so amazed how much you do!!!”
“Ok… Nariah…. you got me….”
“Teehee… giggle giggle”

This girl is a mess!
really

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