I know it has been a loooooooong time since I’ve posted to this blog. Things have been pretty busy in the life of an autism parent. I’m striving to do better and get back into blogging… so without further ado, Toryn made me laugh tonight.

We’re sitting on the couch watching tv, just us fellas. Toryn wants something to eat and he pulls me to the pantry. I list off several items until he stops me when I say peaches.
Cool! We’re gonna eat some peaches… We’re gonna eat some peaches!“. I take him back to the living room and start doing the food vehicle sounds for him while I feed him.

Car? Ambulance? Fire Truck? Motor cycle?

Fire Truck

Ok firetruck… annnnnggggghhhhhhh, whoooooooooooweeewooooooooweeeewoooooooo“. He smiles as I bring the spoon closer and he eats it.  I proceed to do this with a boat, helicopter and airplane before I decide to try something new… animals.

What does a duck say?
Quack quack
Yup.. here you go! Quack quack quack….” and he eats the peaches.
I do this for a dog, and then a cat, as Toryn gives me the correct answers each time.
Next stop, cow. “How about a cow Toryn? What do they say?
Moo“.
For some reason I decided to remix the cow sounds like I was a dj or something. “Moooooooo ma-moo-moo-moooooooo ma-ma-ma-ma-moooooo!

Toryn gave me this look like “Dude? Really? You know goodness well there is not one cow that sounds like that… Stop it… Just stop it daddy… The game is over… I don’t even want to play anymore…Just give me my peaches“. I felt like he said all of that mentally because he stared at me for a good 10 seconds. I ended up busting out laughing at him, but he was dead serious in pointing out to me that I clearly messed up the cow sound. LOL.

toryn couch


Nariah and I were experimenting with pineapples last week and since we had an extra pineapple we were thinking about ideas to use a whole pineapple in a dessert. A up sprung the idea to grill a whole pineapple! This is a dish that can be served in its own bowl, and was just totally amazing. It can be eaten with and without ice cream, but of course, going all out with ice cream makes it a sundae.

  • 1 whole pineapple, not too ripe (with some green still in it. If its too ripe it may end up too sweet and mushy)
  • cinnamon/sugar
  • shredded coconut
  • Vanilla bean ice cream
  • Maraschino cherries

This is very simple and quick. Prep grill for direct grilling. Slice the pineapple from top to bottom down the middle (even thru the leaves). Next, take your knife and cut across the width of the pineapple almost to the skin as if you were cutting out slices. Then do the same lengthwise. This helps make the pineapple easier to spoon out and eat in the end. Place the pineapple halves open side down on the grill for about 5 mins or until it gets seared a bit. Remove from heat and place right side up. Sprinkle cinnamon sugar over all of the fruit part of the pineapple. (For an adult dessert I suggest pouring some Malibu or your other favorite rum inside the pineapple.) Next sprinkle the coconut inside the “bowl” and also along the sides. Return to grill, this time right side up and cover. Grill until Coconut starts to get toasted slightly, about another 5-10 minutes depending on how much coconut you used.

Remove from grill and onto your serving plates, top with vanilla bean ice cream and cherries or other toppings you may prefer and enjoy this warm and cold dessert!


So I’m sitting here with Nariah and we’re on my laptop looking up some pizza deals to order for dinner. Well on the yahoo front page, there’s the headline stating coach Jay Gruden is “done” with RG3.
Oh Nariah… look! Washington’s coach is done with RG3!
What does that mean?
Well it means he doesn’t want him on the team anymore, aint that something?
Oh… So now what is he gonna do?…..            Be a loser?

I had to laugh at that one. Its wrong, but as a cowboys fan, that is funny.


Nariah and I are both lactose intolerant and have a history of gas wars with each other. Just a lil preface, lol.
So I’ve just picked up Nariah from school and we were on our way to swimming class.

Daddy… Mommy says I can’t crack my knuckles anymore. She says its bad. Sigh
Well… I did ask the doctor about cracking knuckles and necks and whatnot. He explained to me that you have these sacs in between your bones where the joints are, and when you ‘crack’ your knuckles, you’re essentially bursting those sacs which releases gas. And that gas release is the sound you hear. Kinda like bubble wrap we like to pop together? He said I didn’t have anything to worry about.
Ooooooh, cool!

A few moments of silence…

Excuse me daddy, I just released some gas!
Oh no! Gotta roll down the windows! Let it out!!! GET IT OUT!!! Hold your breath!” as I start rolling down the window letting in the cold fall air.

Daddy…. No. I meant my knuckle gas….

Oh….

LOL

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We were driving down to Carolina for my mom’s surprise birthday party last weekend. Coming from DC area that can be anywhere from a 4-8 hour trip depending on the traffic. Of course we are in the age range of hearing the “Are we there yet?” throughout the trip. About 2 hours outside of our destination, Nariah wakes up and asks “How much longer before we get there?
Oh… looks like about 120 minutes
Awwww man… 120 minutes? How many hours is that?
You tell me? How many minutes are in an hour?
Do I have to? 60….
Yup! Math is everywhere! So if 60 minutes are in one hour, how many hours until we get there?
Ugh…. I know its gonna be way more than I want it to be

Math lesson was officially over as I laughed at that response while she got more annoyed in the back seat and went back to sleep.

 


As some of you know, I do magic, and Nariah has taken an interest in it to a point of even going to a couple of summer magic camps. I’ve been teaching her some tricks here and there and she’s actually has been coming up with her own tricks.

My parents are up for the weekend and Nariah was showing my mom a trick she had come up with. I wasn’t paying attention but I overheard my mom going “Oh my goodness, that was awesome! how did you do that?
I honestly wasn’t thinking anything of it, that maybe my mom was just being encouraging or something.
Nariah then comes beside me and shows my dad and I’m watching and she actually fooled my dad. He’s all wide eyed going “Whoaaaaaah…. wait… how did you do that???
As I didn’t teach her this trick, I’m actually impressed with her presentation. “Nariah, you’re getting really good baby! Now you need to come up with your magician name.
My what?
Your magician name. You know, what you’re gonna call yourself… hmmmm like the great cupcaketini or something like that.
Why can’t I just be ‘Ryan Goldman’s Daughter’?

Awwww I’m touched….


Caught off guard by this one. I picked up Nariah the other day from school and asked how her day went while we headed home. She told me briefly about her day and then asked about mine. I responded about a meeting I had before getting a phone call. After the short phone call…

Oh yeah…. where was I? Hmmmm…. what else did I do today?
You did that?
Huh?
WOOOW! You did that too?
Did what? I didn’t say anyt—
Nariah cuts me off with “That’s awesome daddy! I can’t believe you did all that today!
Now I realize she’s playing me for a fool and I can’t help but to laugh.
Whooooah, you mean to tell me you did all those things and still had time to do that too!?!?! You had a busy day daddy!
You’re funny Nariah
I’m so amazed how much you do!!!
Ok… Nariah…. you got me….
Teehee… giggle giggle

This girl is a mess!
really


Its been suggested by numerous people that I document our son Toryn’s many faces. Some of the faces he has made over the years have been true “caption me” moments. So as my spinoff to “Nariah Says…” (which I need to add to as it’s been awhile), I introduce “The Faces of Toryn…” .

The most famous face that started it all. At his 3 month photo shoot, Toryn had already perfected the one eyebrow raise. Kinda had the plotting to take over the world look which was confirmed by his maniacal laughter that followed. This boy can make faces!

Plotting something very sinister

Plotting something very sinister

The sinister laugh

The sinister laugh


I know its been a long long time since I’ve posted. It’s been quite busy lately and I must say I’ve missed out on posting some truly hilarious stories, but just now, I had to stop unloading the groceries and share what my child just told me.

Nariah for some reason started joking on me and said I had a big head.
Daddy… your head is bigger than a street light! hee hee hee hee
My head is what?!?!? Girl… you don’t want any of this! You so dumb, you thought a quarterback was a refund!

Nariah looks at me with the “oh no he didn’t” look.
Well… you so dumb… you thought a linebacker was somebody who moves the line back!  ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

Did this girl just cover her mouth say her own “ooooooooooooh“. I was laughing so much I couldn’t even come back.

Nariah = 1…. Daddy = 0

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Comedy is realizing the pockets on girls jeans are NOT functional. They are decor only.
I picked up nariah from magic camp and she says “Daddy… i learned a new trick… watch this…. but wait… let me get some pixie dust“.
Now being that I do magic myself, I know what she’s doing with this quarter trick, or at least the main gist of her version.
Poor Nariah couldn’t get into her pocket to complete the rest of the trick. She could not divert my attention with the pixie dust search as she was going “ughhhh, mmmmmmgh, grrrrrrr, ughhhhhhh, almost there….,
I had to fight from laughing and to make sure I didn’t, I offered up: “Hey baby…. I think back pocket pixie dust is stronger than front pocket pixie dust! Why don’t you look for some back there?

Crisis diverted!!!!  The magic trick can resume… and I must admit, she’s getting good with this stuff! I better learn some new stuff to keep her on her toes!