Archive for March, 2011

Nariah says… #14

Posted: March 6, 2011 in Comedy, Nariah

This one’s a quickie. Toya and I were sitting around talking to Nariah about her baby brother’s entrance into the world and what changes are coming and things she can do to help out. She’s perfectly fine with sharing some or her toys, “some of them” she reiterates and even wants to get a bunk bed to share her room. She actually wants a bunk as in right now and thinks why does the baby need a crib when he can sleep on the bottom bunk? So the big question comes…

So Nariah, you going to help change your brother’s diaper?
Silence…
Ha ha, did you hear mommy?  Are you going to help with the diapers?
Ummm no
Why not?
I don’t want the poop to touch me! I just can’t touch the poop!
Well, I guess that’s a valid reason then.
Well, if you get me some gloves, maybe they would protect me from the poop? Then I could help!

At least she’s thinking this thing out!


It’s Friday. I don’t know if all kids are this happy when you pick them up from daycare but mine sure is. When we get to the door to go outside she turns to me and says with a smile “Shake your little bacon daddy!
Shake my what?
Shake your little bacon!
Bacon? What’s my bacon?
Nariah points to her “bottom”, and proceeds to sign “shake your little bacon” and shakes her booty with the biggest cheesy grin on her face. All this is in front of the daycare mind you. Soooooooo, I proceed to shake my little bacon with her so she’s not by herself. I can now say I’ve added “shaking my bacon” to my repertoire.

It’s funny to see other parents look at me with the “OMG what in the world?” type expressions. But seriously, after seeing me show up to the school dressed as DJ Lance Rock can you really be surprised? Who wouldn’t want to shake their little bacon with their child on Friday evening? The weekend’s here, everyone should want to shake their little bacon!

Daddy on “Artwork”

Posted: March 1, 2011 in Fatherhood, Nariah

Can you recognize what this is? Nariah did this a few months ago while she was still in her 3’s. As a parent looking at this, it seems quite amazing for a 3 year old to stay inside the lines and actually use color in this manner for a dress. After a few minutes looking at this with my mouth open and saying “woooooooooooooow” inside my head, I snap back to reality. “Well done Nariah! This is awesome!!!“.

Ok, praise your children for their work, check. But what do you do when you don’t recognize what they draw and you make the mistake of saying “Oh wow, what a cute puppy!“, only to hear “Daddy, this is a house and a fish bowl“. Doh!

I love passing on any type of advice and tips to other parents, but when you’re wrong with somethings on your own children, what can you really say to other parents? Your child could draw the same house/fish bowl picture and you could think its a boat on a lake. When I picked up Nariah from school yesterday, I thought with a little time to myself I could use some sort of Special Super Daddy analysis to figure out these indiscernible works of art.

Closer to the end of the day at daycare, they start moving kids around in classrooms as the child count dwindles. This day I have the fortune of her classroom being empty, giving me free range to examine her art so when I walk across the hall I can proclaim “This is the best (insert whatever it is here) I’ve ever seen Nariah!“. Ok, superdad thinking cap on, lets go!

Ok, what did you see? If you cheated a little bit and looked at the picture of the girl in the dress at the top of this blog, you could see the similarities in the two pictures in terms of legs. I count them… 12? Did she really mean to have an even number of legs? She knows insects have 6, and spiders have 8, so this has to be a caterpillar or centipede or something. Since she’s learned about caterpillars recently, boom, there it is, my baby has drawn a caterpillar! Now, what’s that white box? Hmmmm, this is tough, caterpillar and a box? Ok, its not colored in, its white… white… white… cocoon! Caterpillars make a cocoon to become a butterfly! Nariah knows all about butterflies! As that humorous Youtube sportscaster says (at the 2:25 mark) “Boom, there goes the dynamite!”

Feeling good about myself, I head across the hall. “Daaaaaaaaaddy!!!!“. Crayons drop, chairs slide, and I move my hand just in time to protect “myself” as Nariah comes careening into my midsection. “Hey baby! I picked up your drawing! Man this is awesome!  I love your caterpillar and cocoon!

The look on her face said it all, I was wrong again wasn’t I?
That’s not a caterpillar daddy.
It’s not? Are you sure?” (Never question a child on their artwork)
Yes I’m sure.
Oh, well what is it? I must’ve held it the wrong way.
Daddy, you’re so silly, you have to turn it this way, its a blender
A blender? As in one you make drinks with?” (Amazing to me that she knows what a blender is as we haven’t used one since she’s been born)
Yessssssss daddy… these are the buttons on the right and the glass cup is on the left
After a few minutes looking at this with my mouth open and saying “woooooooooooooow” inside my head, I snap back to reality. “Well done Nariah! This is awesome!!!“.