Archive for July, 2011

Nariah says… #48

Posted: July 28, 2011 in Comedy, Fatherhood, Nariah

As we got ready for prayers, I asked Nariah “Are you going to dance with your daddy at your wedding?
I don’t wanna talk about that right now

After laughing for a bit, I ask her “Why not?
Lets talk about it when I’m 13, that’s when I’m going to start dating

Wow, this girl has it all figured out.

Nariah says… #47

Posted: July 23, 2011 in Comedy, Nariah

I’m in the bathroom shaping up my beard and Nariah walks in.
Oooooh daddy, are you shaving?
Can you shave off your mustache? I really want you to cut it all off!
Ummmm, I don’t know about that one baby. I don’t think mommy will like that, she probably won’t think I’m cute
Awww, don’t worry about that, you’re cute already. She won’t mind! Come on, do it do it do it do it!

Man peer pressure from friends is one thing, but from your 4 year old? Wow. And no, I didn’t cut off my mustache, maybe I’ll do it for her one day.

Nariah says… #46

Posted: July 17, 2011 in Comedy, Nariah

Nariah and Toya are sitting in the living room watching TV.  They are flipping through the channels and Toya stops on one of the music channels to see what the next song coming up will be. The video “Everybody” with Andre’ 3000, Fonzworth Bentley, Kanye West and others comes on. After watching it for a few seconds, Nariah asks, “Mommy, is daddy in this video?

My baby knows my crazy style already, haha.

About 3 or 4 months ago we went to Outback and they had this dessert, the strawberry waffle shortcake and it was soooooooooooooooooooo good! I mean I tweeted about it immediately after the first bite. It really didn’t make any sense how good it was. Well Toya and I had a taste for that dessert and so we went to outback for dinner.

Are you guys ready to order?
Ummm, not yet. I do have a question though, you guys still have that strawberry waffle shortcake thingy right?
I’m sorry sir, that was a short time special… I hear it was very good though.
What?!?!?! Why would that be limited time? It was by far the best dessert you guys have! Who do I need to call, corporate offices or something? That was the reason we came tonight
I’ll come back in a few to take your order

Nevermind the fact that she ignored my request for “who do I need to contact about getting this item back on the menu”, (I’m not above doing that as I’ve contacted Cici’s Pizza about some changed menu items that didn’t make any sense on this living planet). I turned to Toya : “Sooo, you ready to go to Longhorn steakhouse then? At least the steaks are better there

Toya declines and says we’re already there so lets eat and I sigh heavily with defeat. I want that dessert. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to make it myself tonight. To show how clueless this experience started I asked 2 different waiters/waitresses what was in the dessert. I received ice cream, strawberries, almonds, and waffles as the first answer (not enough ingredients), and then almond filling, strawberries, waffles, whipped cream, and some chocolate bar shavings as the second answer. Chocolate bar shavings? On a strawberry shortcake? Who does that? Let alone the fact that I’m allergic to chocolate and I definitely would’ve known if chocolate was in it. So… here we go, Toya and I have to do this off a 3 to 4 month one time experience memory.

Turns out after research it did have a cream cheese filling in between the belgian waffle layers and not an ounce of ice cream at all. I didn’t research it till after we made it so below is the recipe that Toya and I came up with and not a true representation of the dish. The only thing that’s missing is the fact we forgot to buy the “strawberry topping”. But in the end, our version was awesome and we liked the ice cream over the cream cheese filling, gives it a great hot/cold contrast sensation.

Since I don’t have a belgian waffle maker (can you believe it?) we used frozen waffles, any of your favorite brands will work, just don’t toast til you’re ready to serve this dish. You want the waffle hot. You can also make your own waffles, but then we start to get away from this being a quick and easy dessert

1 or 2 waffles or 2 sections of a belgian waffle
1 1/2 tablespoon almond extract
2 scoops of  vanilla bean ice cream
Tub of cool whip, extra creamy
About 3-4 strawberries per serving, sliced
Sliced almonds (don’t really know how to “measure” sliced almonds to sprinkle on top)
Strawberry topping/sauce (again, I didn’t get to use this step this time)

Stir almond extract into cool whip. Toast waffles and either break up into large pieces or lay a waffle into bowl. Place two scoops of ice cream on top. Layer the extra waffle (or pieces) on top of ice cream. Toss in strawberries and then the topping/sauce. Top with almond cool whip and almonds. Serve and enjoy.

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Nariah says… #45

Posted: July 9, 2011 in Comedy, Nariah

Uncle CJ is over the house visiting and Nariah wants to show him her new pet, Betta fish “Nemo”.

With the biggest pet owning smile she says : “Watch this unca CJ, when I put the food in there, he eats it… That’s his trick! You put food in, and he eats!

Daddy on “Shopping”

Posted: July 4, 2011 in Fatherhood, Nariah

With a new baby in the house, its tough to find the time to relax, especially when you’re the father and any break you have should be making sure the mother is getting her break. Nonetheless I sat down in the living room where everyone else is watching TV, well except the infant of course.

Nariah comes over to Toya and I with this pamphlet in her hands. “I have some money and I would like to go to the store and buy this ‘Barbie Mini B.’. This is the one I want right here“, and she turns to the page and shows us the one she wants.
Mommy says they cost about 6-8 dollars and I have more than enough in my purse, can we go to the store so I can buy it?

Now I don’t know if on the outside my body said “But I just sat down…” or not, but on the inside was the feeling of this being the first time she ever asked to do something like this and that it could be fun! We always joke with Nariah when we shop for groceries by asking if she’s paying when we’re at the cashier and she would either say “no” or hand the cashier some invisible money, so for her to mention real money this time sounded like an adventure. Toya and I agreed that I should take Nariah shopping while she stays home with the newborn.

So we’re off to Walmart to look for this Barbie Mini B. with the “orange cell phone”. While in the store, I mention that we need some new toothpaste for her toothpaste dispenser and we pick that up before heading to the *cue dramatic music* “TOY SECTION!“. To our dismay, not on

ly did they not have the one she wanted, but they didn’t have any of the Barbie Mini B’s. Hmmm, what to do now?

How about we try Toy’s R Us?”
Yeah daddy! They should have it!
Ok, but first lets pay for this toothpaste
Ok Daddy, I’m going to pay for it ok?

Huh??? Did my daughter, 4 years old mind you, just offer to pay for a common household item?

Baby, you don’t have to pay for it, we’re here to get you a toy, I’m getting this for the house.
But daddy, I want to pay for it, I have enough money see?” and she opens up her purse to show me that she really had much more money than I thought she really had.
Nariah, this is awesome that you want to pay, but I will pay for this, so that you can use your money for toys! OK? I really appreciate you for offering!

Now comes a reaction I really wasn’t prepared for. She actually starts wimpering and sheds a couple of tears. I bend down to talk to her.
Nariah, what’s wrong honey?
In between sobs she replies, “but… I really…. wanted… to pay… for it…. You always…. pay daddy…. and I…. wanted to use my money this time…… so that… you wouldn’t have to….

Wow….  Ummmmm yeah…. Not expecting that at all! Sounds like a no-brainer right? Let the child pay for it? Well as I’m walking to the cashier in the back (it would take forever to pay for one item in the front of our always packed for no reason Walmart), this thought is running through my head: I can hear the cashier saying or thinking “Why is this man making his daughter pay for her own toothpaste? Crying shame….

So we get to the cashier and Nariah has cheered up now that I’m letting her be a big girl and help daddy out. I mention to the cashier that she wants to pay for it this time and asks if she minds that we’ll take a little time so that she can count our her money for her first purchase ever in life. $3.31 was the total. I told Nariah to give the lady $4 and that she would get some change back. The excitement on her face during this transaction was immeasurable. As Nariah gives me her wallet to put back in her purse the cashier asks if we have change to which I find 2 quarters to give. Then the cashiers asks if we have a penny. I reply with a “No” and Nariah corrects me.
Yes I do daddy, there’s one penny, you have to look in the bottom for it
Now I didn’t see a penny in there and told Nariah as I searched again that I thought she was wrong. But sure enough, there was dark penny in there hiding and she had this look of “I told you so” which was kind of funny.

The cashier handed me 20 cents change to give Nariah. Thinking quickly I slipped in 3 dollar bills from my wallet and handed it all to Nariah along with her wallet. “Here’s your change boo!” She excitedly puts the money in her wallet and says “Ok daddy, Toys R Us next right?

As a parent, what would you do?

Nariah says… #44

Posted: July 3, 2011 in Comedy, Nariah

Nariah bought a new Polly Pocket Ice Cream Water Park toy. Its pretty awesome too, even has a working water cannon were you can shoot the “dunking station” and knock whoever is sitting there into the mini pool. So she’s showing “mommy” her new toy and decides to get one of her older polly pocket figures to play with the set. As she takes off the figure’s clothes she gets noticeably upset that she doesn’t have the “bra thingy” on.
Toya offers “Its ok Nariah, just put one of those tank tops on her, and that’ll be fine
No mommy, that’s not waterable!
She’s not going to be able to wear it in the water! She needs a swimsuit like when I go swimming. That’s waterable!

Webster… are you reading this? Please add “Waterable” to the 2012 edition please. I know I’m going to start using it, I mean she came up with a definition on her own and everything, how can you not use it?