Archive for September, 2011

**Chel & Shannon**

So I’m (Ryan) down in Ft Worth staying with Chel and Shannon for the weekend. We’re deciding on what to eat for dinner and the subject of making dessert comes up. Well their daughter Madi gets excited and exclaims “Ooh, I wanna help!
You wanna help? Cool! I think your mom wants to try my strawberry cobbler
Ooooh, I love cobbler!
Ok, its a deal then!
Ummm, instead of strawberry cobbler, can we make peach cobbler?
Hmmm, how about we make two small cobblers? One peach, and one strawberry?
Ok, sounds good to me
Yeah, I like peaches, but I don’t like cooked peaches, so I don’t eat peach cobbler
I don’t like peaches either…
WHAT?!?! Huh?!?! Well why do you want peach cobbler then?
I like the crust!
After laughing hysterically at her I say, “Girl…. we’re making strawberry cobbler!


I’m babysitting a 2 year old girl and we are on our way upstairs. She asks to bring her toys and I tell her she can bring one item from the playroom.
What does she do? She put all her toys in a bag and brings up the bag. “Here’s my one thing!“.  Too much brilliance in that to not allow her to keep the bag.


Me and the kids have tea every morning.
A couple of mornings ago, the big one said, “This tea is going in my nipples and making them warm“.
The baby rubbed her nipples and said “My nipples are warm too

Nariah says… #55

Posted: September 21, 2011 in Comedy, Nariah

For those of you who know Nariah, you know that she loves her some B.o.B. music…

A few weeks ago, we went bowling with a group of friends at 300. After bowling, a few of us wanted to go grab something to eat and since it was around 10pm, Toya was going to head on home. Nariah asked quite cleverly if Toya and I could discuss whether or not she could stay with “daddy” and that she would be on her best behavior. So…. after talking the decision was made and Nariah is hanging with daddy at the silver diner.

Over the course of dinner, our good friend Renard mentions this blog and says : “You should gather all of the ‘Nariah says…’ and make a book or something so when Nariah gets older, she can read them“.

I can already READ” booms Nariah in a matter of fact type attitude that garners a bunch of “oooooooooooohs” and laughter from the table at Renard’s expense of course. Then Nariah proceeds to point to her eyes and then at Renard in the “I’ve got my eyes on you” fashion.

Fast forward to this past weekend at a Mayweather fight party. Renard see’s Nariah upstairs,  says “I’ve got my eye on you”  and gives the associated motion.

Nariah covers her face with her hands and in true B.o.B. fashion, she says back to Renard, “But you can’t see past my shades… past my shades, past my shades…


So I tell Jaz there’s a daddy long legs just along the staircase. She proceeds to tell me they don’t bite. Then she goes into, “Have you ever seen a mommy long legs? a sister long legs?  a brother long legs…?

*sigh* She just kept on going through family members. I politely slipped away 🙂

So I had a taste for shrimp, and the wifey told me to pick up some veggies like asparagus and corn. Well since the store didn’t have corn and I don’t like asparagus, I had to find something that I/we could eat. Suddenly this English cucumber calls to me, “try me try me!!”. Hmmmm, what they hay, never heard of grilling this, could be interesting.

For the shrimp, try the “new” kc masterpiece spicy mango flavor marinade on shelled jumbo shrimp. Then use “seasoned skewers” (awesome if you’ve never tried them) I used “thai coconut lime”
So you get this outside mango flavor with inside coconut, deeeeeeeeeeee bomb.

The english cucumbers are the long ones usually in the plastic wrap. Cut it into 3s and then cut each 3rd into 4ths lengthwise to get your “spears”
Toss with olive oil to get nice and shiny.
Grab some Janes Krazy mixed up salt and some Smoky Sweet Pepper seasoning and head to the grill. Place cucumber flesh side down (just one side of the flesh, I didn’t do both sides, and grill for say 5 mins. Turn, and then season to taste with the two seasonings. Grill for about 5 more mins. You don’t want it to get too soggy, you want a lil level of crispiness.
Try the cucumbers while still warm or let cool off completely, I had them both ways and were delish. The missus is happy!

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Ish: “Daddy I want to wear my Zshoes!!”
Art: “Your what??” 
Ish: “My Z- SHOES!!!”
Art: “What are your Z shoes? I dont buy nothing but name brand sneakers. Did your mother buy you some crazy type of shoes again?
Ish: “No my BLACK Z shoes you know!!
Art: (realizing he meant something else) “You mean your N shoes?? THOSE ARE NEW BALANCE BOY!!!”  lol.


Ish: “Kafi, you look like my mommy
Kafi: “??? Ummm thanks! Why do you say that?? Is it because of my hair??
Ish: “Yeah your hair makes you look like her
Kafi: “Well thanks Ish, I take that as a compliment because your mommy is a hot chick!
Ish: “My mommy isnt a chick she is a HUMAN BEING!!!

Nariah says… #54

Posted: September 13, 2011 in Comedy, Family, Nariah

We let Nariah feed Toryn a bottle since she had been wanting to help out. She was just too thrilled to be giving him a bottle. I sat down beside her to help hold Toryn and after about 2 or 3 minutes, she says, “Look daddy, look how’s he’s looking at me! It looks like he’s saying ‘Who’s this giving me all this delicious drink!?!?! Mmm mmm mmm!‘”

Nariah says… #53

Posted: September 12, 2011 in Comedy, Nariah

Usually when I pick up Nariah from school, she tells me whether or not she ate all of her lunch. Well this day was different, she made no mention of food at all. I grab her things from the cubby and notice her lunch bag was opened. Looking inside I see her strawberries were uneaten and it felt like there was still some spaghetti in her thermos.

Nariah… you didn’t eat all of your lunch?
As you read her response, imagine my child with this overwhelmed look on her face, rolling her eyes wide, and juggling her hands around in circles.
Daddy… there….. I mean….. there… was just soooooooo much food…. I didn’t know what to do! I…. I…. just didn’t know what to eat!

It took awhile for the teacher and I to stop laughing.
Sometimes Nariah forgets we pack extra “snack food” in case she doesn’t like the snacks they serve.