Archive for the ‘Fatherhood’ Category


Halloween was last night, and of course I was in character trying to speak like Thor while our family went trick or treating. It was getting late and Nariah and her girlfriends from school were hesitating on which way to continue their journey. I told them, “Fair maidens! We must quicken haste with thy decision before Hera comes at thee!

Nariah was not amused.

Daddy, Hera is not Norse….

Me: blink blink… Blank stare…. Blink blink….

What could I say? I totally meant Hela… And yes, I know the difference between the Greek Hera and the Norse Hela. But at that moment… I felt really dumb.

Why is she so smart? She didn’t have to call me out in front of everybody! Lol

Image result for helaImage may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing and night

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I know it has been a loooooooong time since I’ve posted to this blog. Things have been pretty busy in the life of an autism parent. I’m striving to do better and get back into blogging… so without further ado, Toryn made me laugh tonight.

We’re sitting on the couch watching tv, just us fellas. Toryn wants something to eat and he pulls me to the pantry. I list off several items until he stops me when I say peaches.
Cool! We’re gonna eat some peaches… We’re gonna eat some peaches!“. I take him back to the living room and start doing the food vehicle sounds for him while I feed him.

Car? Ambulance? Fire Truck? Motor cycle?

Fire Truck

Ok firetruck… annnnnggggghhhhhhh, whoooooooooooweeewooooooooweeeewoooooooo“. He smiles as I bring the spoon closer and he eats it.  I proceed to do this with a boat, helicopter and airplane before I decide to try something new… animals.

What does a duck say?
Quack quack
Yup.. here you go! Quack quack quack….” and he eats the peaches.
I do this for a dog, and then a cat, as Toryn gives me the correct answers each time.
Next stop, cow. “How about a cow Toryn? What do they say?
Moo“.
For some reason I decided to remix the cow sounds like I was a dj or something. “Moooooooo ma-moo-moo-moooooooo ma-ma-ma-ma-moooooo!

Toryn gave me this look like “Dude? Really? You know goodness well there is not one cow that sounds like that… Stop it… Just stop it daddy… The game is over… I don’t even want to play anymore…Just give me my peaches“. I felt like he said all of that mentally because he stared at me for a good 10 seconds. I ended up busting out laughing at him, but he was dead serious in pointing out to me that I clearly messed up the cow sound. LOL.

toryn couch


Nariah and I are both lactose intolerant and have a history of gas wars with each other. Just a lil preface, lol.
So I’ve just picked up Nariah from school and we were on our way to swimming class.

Daddy… Mommy says I can’t crack my knuckles anymore. She says its bad. Sigh
Well… I did ask the doctor about cracking knuckles and necks and whatnot. He explained to me that you have these sacs in between your bones where the joints are, and when you ‘crack’ your knuckles, you’re essentially bursting those sacs which releases gas. And that gas release is the sound you hear. Kinda like bubble wrap we like to pop together? He said I didn’t have anything to worry about.
Ooooooh, cool!

A few moments of silence…

Excuse me daddy, I just released some gas!
Oh no! Gotta roll down the windows! Let it out!!! GET IT OUT!!! Hold your breath!” as I start rolling down the window letting in the cold fall air.

Daddy…. No. I meant my knuckle gas….

Oh….

LOL

http://bodygurublog.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/knuckle.jpeg


Comedy is realizing the pockets on girls jeans are NOT functional. They are decor only.
I picked up nariah from magic camp and she says “Daddy… i learned a new trick… watch this…. but wait… let me get some pixie dust“.
Now being that I do magic myself, I know what she’s doing with this quarter trick, or at least the main gist of her version.
Poor Nariah couldn’t get into her pocket to complete the rest of the trick. She could not divert my attention with the pixie dust search as she was going “ughhhh, mmmmmmgh, grrrrrrr, ughhhhhhh, almost there….,
I had to fight from laughing and to make sure I didn’t, I offered up: “Hey baby…. I think back pocket pixie dust is stronger than front pocket pixie dust! Why don’t you look for some back there?

Crisis diverted!!!!  The magic trick can resume… and I must admit, she’s getting good with this stuff! I better learn some new stuff to keep her on her toes!

 

 


As we leave the house for summer camp one morning, Nariah asks can we take her American Girl doll to Maliyah’s house that evening as she’s going over there after camp to stay until Toya gets home from work. I have tickets to the advance screening of the Lone Ranger, but its in Tysons Corner and the “rules” say be there by 7, so I would have to leave prior to Toya making it home. Those familiar with DC metro traffic will know that from Germantown to Tysons in rush hour is not a good idea.
Sure thing baby, matter of fact… I’ll get Emily and put her in the car so we’ll already have her when I pick you up and we won’t even have to go home first!
Yeah daddy!!! Thanks!!!

Flash forward…
Literally sitting in traffic with co-worker Lamont (going to the movie also), on the way to pick up Nariah (which is about 30 mins in the opposite direction of the movies during rush hour) and it is not moving at all. We have to be at daycare by 6pm and it is not looking good. Kim, (Maliyah’s mom), calls me around 5:45 “Hey Ryan… just letting you know, I’m home now so you can drop Nariah off whenever!
Oh ok cool, but we’re still far away and traffic’s not moving…
Well, did you want me to go pick up Nariah? I’m just down the street
Hmmm… that actually might work! I think you’re still on the list. I’ll still head that way just in case but I’ll try to call and verify

So we’re now we’re driving towards the camp and slowing down by each exit in case Kim calls and gives the green like for us to make our U-turn exit. We finally get the “OK, got her” confirmation and proceed for the next exit. I ask to talk to Nariah to apologize for not being there and to wish her lots of fun with Maliyah. And this is where it began. I don’t have the audio to give you, but if you know Nariah, please imagine full on sad face poutiness in a voice that would make you give her that last piece of bacon off your sandwich.

Daddy??? I don’t have my American Girl doll…
I know baby, I’m so sorry, I’m stuck in traffic and Ms Kim was able to help and pick you up for me. You will be ok right?
But daddy, we were going to have an American Girl party…
I know baby, I can make it up to you, I promise!
Can’t you just still come? We can wait for you here….” (voice starts to crack at this point)
Baby, we turned around and headed to VA right now, remember I’m going to the movies? I’m in traffic on the other side now
But daddy…. what if Ms Kim takes us to the movies and then you bring it outside to us?
Nariah, that’s a good idea but we’re not at a movie theater close to home. I’ll tell you what, what if I pick you up early tomorrow, and we go to Walmart and you can pick out whatever toy you want?!?!
Nariah whimpers… “Please can we come get Emily? I really want her
I know Nariah… I feel really bad. What about Target? we can go there??

At this point Lamont says “man down man down!“, and takes the phone from me to try to help the situation. I don’t know exactly what was said by Nariah, but he gave me the phone back looking defeated…
Playing this all back, Lamont gave me his version of what he saw. It was a boxing match, and Nariah had me on the ropes, and was beating me down. Body blow, upper cut, cross! He wanted to throw in the towel, but said I gave a look like “don’t do it coach!“. What he described as what happened next was that it was like the last 5 seconds of the final boxing round, I have no chance of winning the match, Nariah is still beating me down on the ropes, and then out of nowhere I pulled out the victory punch.

Oooooh Nariah… I just thought of something… The mall that we are going to for the movies, that’s where the American Girl store is. What if I run down there, and buy you a new outfit and some accessories for Emily?
You could hear the whole scenery change at Nariah’s location thru the phone. You could hear the sun coming out, the birds started chirping, babies were giggling in the background. I could tell by the voice that Nariah was smiling and what ever tears she had, they were not there anymore!
Really daddy!?!?!!?!?!!? You can do that?!?!?!!?
I looked at Lamont, and mouthed with a sigh of relief “WHEW!!!
Yes baby, I can do that, would that help make you feel better?
Yes daddy
Ok, so I’ll call Ms Kim’s phone when I get there and I can describe to you the outfits and you tell me which ones you like ok?
Ok daddy, thank you daddy!!! Do you want to talk back to Ms Kim now?
Sure baby… I love you!
I love you too daddy! You’re still the best daddy ever!

Kim comes on the phone and snickers “Soooooooo, how much did this doghouse set you back? hahaha
When I got off the phone, Lamont says “Man… you got out of that one! I’m impressed! I thought you were out for the count! She had you on the ropes!
Who you telling? I thought I was done too. I don’t think I could’ve gone home tonight if I hadn’t come up with that idea!

Kids… They make this all worth it! Find joy in the many ways to make your children smile…  Knowing that the morning will be like Christmas morning to her when she sees what I got for her on the breakfast table will definitely mend the guilt.


We’re standing outside of the dining hall at a wedding during cocktail hour, waiting to be seated. As we’re killing time, Nariah says out of the blue, “I wish Unca CJ was here“.
Unca CJ? Why you say that?
He’s fun and would get the party started.
Ohhh, you want unca CJ because he dances and stuff?
Yeah…
What about daddy? You already know I get my dance on. Can Unca CJ do this?
I proceed to do a number of different routines in front of her, in the narrow space, full of people. There is obvious some sort of slight embarrassment going on between both Toya and Nariah at this point.
As I break into my 3rd different dance, saying “Well what about this? Can he do this? Huh? Can he?“, Nariah cuts me off. She points at me with this semi “shaking my head” look mixed with a little of “you’re so not cool daddy” look and says : “Daddy???? Stop….. This is not a competition…..

Toya busts out laughing at my expense of course while Nariah goes back to eating her hors d’oeuvres with a face that kinda looks like it’s saying “finally!”

I laughed a little but on the inside I was saying “Fine! Go and get your Unca CJ then, hmph“. It was indeed funny, but I couldn’t laugh too much since she’s played me. LOL.


First off, let me apologize for the delay in posts. I have food posts lined up to share on here and there have definitely been other “Nariah” moments, but life has just been hectic lately between the job and family life. Blogging just took a back seat. Not to mentioned we just started up Nariah’s own blog on the side for the world’s viewing pleasure. 😮
http://thelittlestpalate.wordpress.com/about/

Soooo, with that out of the way and without further ado….
(This is not “overly” humorous, moreso it was a cute pick-me-up based on the day I was having, I personally did laugh tho…)

The evening started off pretty wacko. I was at home, getting ready to leave to go get Nariah from after school care. I was kinda rushing as to not be late. I had just woken up from a 30 min nap (feel free to use this in my defense of what is about to happen), and opened the door to witness a monsoon happening. Now I knew it was raining, but not of the monsoonativic nature that was going on. So I grabbed my umbrella and stepped outside when my phone did the loud emergency distracting beep. “What now?? Oh… flood warning… ugh, that’s just great…

So I close the door, and walk to the car…. “My keys!?!?!?
Next was like a scene from the Old Spice commercial, look at your man, now look at me. I looked at the door, looked at the car, looked at the door again, looked at the ground, looked at the sky, looked at the car, “are you serious??!?”, looked at the door yet again, looked down the street, looked at the ground, looked at the door one more time, looked at the phone for the current time, “Oh snap, I’m gonna be late!!

Needless to say I had to walk to school, in the monsoonado, and in my nice semi-suede grey Jordans, which now have become like anchor weights as water in some spots are up past my ankles. I also noticed that I’m out of shape during this hike as well, but we won’t go there.  Luckily at school, one of Nariah’s friend’s parents offered to give us a ride home, to where we sought refuge in the neighbor’s house while we waited for Toya to come home. This wait would easily be an hour due to DC area traffic in monsoonomic weather.

Striking up conversation, as Miss Nariah is easily capable of doing, we talked about everything with our neighbors over some cookies and juice. Two of the household members were in a bad car accident not too long ago, and we compared that with the bad one Nariah and I were in last year, which Nariah ever so animatedly described. Somehow this convo lead into talking about this house’s direct neighbors being nosey and like the police, as they were always coming over their house about every little thing.
The Police?!?!!? Daddy, I wish we knew that last year…. when we had that accident.
Why you say that baby?
Because we could’ve used them to help us out when we got hit, instead of waiting for other police.
Ha ha, no baby, what she means is that the neighbors act like they are the police sometimes by the way they do things.
With an “ohhhh I get it” look on her face she says, “Ahhhhhh, They think its Halloween… I don’t think that would’ve helped us.”


Unfortunately, Nariah has fallen victim just like kids around the country to the recent trend of illness. Everybody all over the country is getting sick right now. Going through the trials of being worrisome parents in not knowing if its the flu, strep, this, that, or the other one over there, you notice the progression in life. As infants, you just have a crying baby, and have no clue what is wrong. You try any and everything. Then you get to the stage where they can talk and tell you what’s hurting, and you think this is the most wonderful thing in life that now you “know”. That then rolls into EVERYTHING being a stomach ache. Is it something they ate? They don’t want to go to school? Do they really know the difference between aches and pain? All in all, nothing pains you more than seeing your child suffering and not knowing what you can do to help him or her. Nonetheless, there always seems to be a silver lining to be found.

Toya and I have been tag-teaming home duty and today she took Nariah in to the Dr’s since her fever made a return late last night. I just received this email from Toya’s blackberry, and while it doesn’t give out “information”, this is pretty much one of the best forms of assurance I’ve received as a parent from a 5 year old child that things are “OK”. (copied as sent) :

Dear.   Dadddy.    The.     Apontmamt.       Is.  Over.  We’re heading out.  Love.          Nariah 🙂

Love that girl!

http://bookwormsreadmorebooks.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/sick.jpg


I know most parents brag about their kids. Its only natural right? Sometimes the bragging can be an over the top “my kid is better than your kid” type, sometimes it can be the “proud parent” type, and sometimes it can just simply be “sheer amazement”.

Nariah is my first child. Things as simple as when they say “excuse me” or tell their first joke feels like a big deal because it’s your first child. Now there comes a point where you get those “come on now, is this for real?” moments and that’s what this is, at least for me and my wife it is. We’ve just had a parent teacher conference with Nariah’s kindergarten teacher. She’s reading exceptionally well and is pretty good at writing. Although the teacher mentioned Nariah would write the bare minimum when it came to sentences because she wants to be finished quickly and move on. If the exercise was for the students to write what they did this past weekend, Nariah would write something like “I went home. I had fun.” and leave it at that. Nothing along the lines of variance. The teacher was trying to get Nariah to get more creative with her sentences. Now this conference happened 3 days before this “sheer amazement” moment.

We’re visiting my grandparents in NC, and everyone is kind of doing their own thing. Nariah asks her granddad for some paper and something to write with. Over the course of the next few minutes I walk by and see her kneeling on the floor writing and drawing intently. “What are you doing baby?
I’m writing a story and illustrating it too! I’m going to read it to you guys
Oh ok, cool!

Now at this point my “Oh ok” was really expecting a simple “See spot… See spot run” type story. Oh, was I ever wrong. With Nariah’s permission she has given me the rights to share her work. This is a book she wrote all by herself with out any help. She did a pretty good job phonetically spelling a lot of words. Aside from her needing to “slow down” a little and finish out the words we know she knows already, this was awesome in my opinion. The concept of this story alone is a far cry from the 3 word sentences we had just heard about. I’ve added captions showing what she says on each page underneath each picture from when she read it to us for the first time. Click on the first picture to open up the gallery.


Last night’s conversation let me know I’m due for a long and expensive parenthood…

Its bedtime and the girls call me into Nariah’s bedroom for prayers. Toryn is getting over a cold and is on the last leg of his meds. I walk into the room and before I can get all they way in, Nariah stops me with a question.

Daddy, can you go down stairs and get Toryn’s medicine for Mommy? Its in the fridge.
Oh ok, in the fridge huh?
Yep, in the door. Thanks Daddy!

Now this is the conversation that takes place while I’m downstairs looking for the medicine :

Thanks for asking Daddy for me Nariah, I was going to go get it, but thanks!
You’re welcome, Daddy’s nice.
You really like asking Daddy to do things for you don’t you?
Yep! He always says yes to me!
Oh he does? You sure?
Yep! Oooooh, I know! When he comes back upstairs, I’m going to ask him can we go to Disney this year!
Disney Nariah? We just went this summer baby.
Hmmm, you’re right… I guess we should wait til Toryn’s a little bit older… How about….. when he’s 4? Then I’ll be 8… yeah!
Hahahah if you say so Nariah.
Yep, he’s gonna take us!

I return back upstairs with the medicine and walk into the room.
OK, here you go, everybody ready for prayers?
Yeah Daddy. I have a quick question tho……