Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

I think my wife loves me

Posted: April 3, 2011 in Love, Marriage

There are simple things in life people unintentionally do that impact others more so than when they purposely try provoke feelings.  My wife did that to me today.  Sometimes you tell somebody you love them, or give gifts, or do special things for them to express how you feel. But sometimes its the things you do when you’re just minding your own business that truly hit the heart in the deepest realm.

We’re coming upon 2 months to baby goldman #2’s due date so naturally, we’re trying to get the house together, bit by bit. Toya’s cleaning our bedroom and I’m kind of just bustling all around the house. Ever now and then, I enter the bedroom for something, say a few words, and keep it moving. I noticed she’s turned the TV off and has music playing. Nothing out of place. A few minutes later I return and hear what sounded like the same song, but I wasn’t sure, so it didn’t really stick on my mind. It was an old soul classic, a lot of those songs have similar beats.

A good 10-15 minutes later, I’m now helping out with the clothes in the bedroom. I turn the TV on mute so I can watch the game and she can still listen to her music. The song playing goes off, and the next song starts back up, its the same song. So now I’m thinking “has she been listening to this same song all this time?”.
Baby, is this song on repeat or something?
Yes, it’s Anita Baker, I love this song, its one of my favorite songs.
Oh, I never knew this was one of your favorite songs, what’s the name of it again?
Giving You The Best That I Got
You’re not tired of listening to it over and over though?
I really love this song because it reminds me of you.


I think about you when I hear it, and it makes me happy.
Oh… uh…. wow… thanks baby! I love you too!
You should look up the lyrics when you get a chance. Even though this is an older song, it truly conveys what you mean to me.

My wife just expressed true love for me by simple non-action more so than a planned Valentine’s dinner, or a romantic night out on the town could. I’m pretty sure my wife loves me, and I’m pretty sure that she’s sure that I love her!

Here’s the song and lyrics.

Ain’t there something I can give you
In exchange for everything you give to me
Read my mind and make me feel just fine
When I think my peace of mind is out
of reach

The scales are sometimes unbalanced
And you bear the weight of all that has to be
I hope you see that you can lean on me
And together we can calm a stormy sea

We love so strong and so unselfishly
And I tell you now that I made a vow
I’m giving you the best that I got, baby
Yes I tell you now, that I made a vow
I’m giving you the best that I got, honey

Everybody’s got opinions
‘Bout the way they think our story’s gonna end
Some folks feel it’s just a superficial thrill
Everybody’s gonna have to think again

We love so strong and so unselfishly
They don’t bother me so I’m gonna keep on
Giving you the best that I got, baby
They don’t bother me, said I’m gonna keep on
Giving you the best that I got, listen baby

Somebody understands me
Somebody gave his heart to me
I stumbled my whole life long
Always on my own, now I’m home

My weary mind is rested
And I feel as if my home is in your arms
Fears are all gone, I like the sound of your song
And I think I want to sing it forever

We love so strong and so unselfishly
And I made a vow so I tell you now
I’m giving you the best that I got, baby
I bet everything on my wedding ring
I’m giving you the best that I got,
givin’ it to you baby

“You better not do anything extra!  You already did way too much for Christmas and for my Birthday! Seriously, I have everything!”

These words ring through my head pretty much every year.  It’s a difficult and expensive time of the year. Kind of like how everyone mentions “first of the month” in reference to their bills, I have “first of the year”.  Between Christmas, a January birthday, and Valentines, there is a serious challenge to keep the bar raised, not only for that particular year, but in relation to previous years.  At what point do you simmer down and heed to the warning “You better not do anything extra!”?  That episode of the Cosby show where Elvin didn’t listen to Sondra and went out with two female friends is a fresh memory. (If your memory fails you, click me).  Do flowers and candy and romantic night out on the town ever grow old?  Especially if you do these things on a whim? How do you change up Valentines so it’s unexpected?  That’s a tough task especially with your 11th valentines with a person. For me trying to catch her off guard, I had to dive into the memory banks for what I’ve “heard” over the past few months.

For those that don’t know, my wife is a TV producer for Discovery Channel. She’s constantly watching shows, making notes, editing, and watching shows (did I mention that already?). Sometimes it keeps her up after me at night and most of ya’ll know I’m a night owl.  So in order to go over narrations and cuts, she usually wears headphones to hear “everything”.  Now Toya goes through some headphones.  With the constant day to day use and travel back and forth from work to home, I can see why.  Since her newest “good” pair of headphones now only work in one ear, I started my quest for a different Vday gift.

Thank goodness for these wireless heavy duty headphones.  You know you’ve found something worth giving when you think “Hmmm, I wouldn’t mind having a pair of these for myself!”  Since these are kinda pricey, now that task becomes how do I get by the “I told you not to overdo it” reaction.  Food?  A nice dinner seems to calm the senses.  As to not deal with a crazy crowd of the public at a restaurant we decided to try a new dish and cook dinner together Sunday night instead of Monday.

I grilled the porkchops (injected with agave nectar, and topped with fresh cut sugarcane, pineapple, and a mix of seasonings) and she cooked the crunchy mac n cheese from Princess Tiana’s Cookbook (crunch was from crackers baked on top, very yummy) and some mustard and turnip greens mixed.

Stuffed and pleased, on to phase two.  Nariah and I ask Mommy if its alright to give her our gifts tonight so we can show her how to use them without the hustle n’ bustle of getting ready for school and work in the morning.  Shock valued achieved?  Check.  “Didn’t I tell you….?” statement avoided? Check.  “Awww, you’re so thoughtful! This is niiiiiiiiiice” type reaction?  Check.
Looks like sometimes technology can be romantic.  Knowing what your significant other is passionate about and feeding off that definitely helps when going for that “different” route.  And yes, I did still get her flowers, a nice orchid plant for her to take to work was waiting for her in the kitchen when she woke up in the morning.  (Traditional isn’t always bad).  I also “borrowed” some of Nariah’s Disney Valentines cards for school and put them in various places so Toya will find them throughout the day at work and stuff.  Always a cool idea becuase she never knows how many she’s getting.  :o)

Hmmmmmmm, now what to do for Mother’s Day?