Archive for the ‘Other people’s kids’ Category


Son’s vocal thought to his mother : “If you don’t wear a bra to the store, put tape on you shirt so nobody looks down your shirt.


I’m washing my face at the sink when Jasmine asks:
J: “Why do you wash your face with soap?
T: “When you get older, your skin’s going to change, so you’ll have to start using facial cleansers.”
J: “My skin’s going to change? You mean like Michael Jackson’s?


A friend of mine was in town and wanted to meet up for dinner. Since it was during the week I decide to go somewhere family friendly and take the kids. Finally the food arrives and my daughter Blair wants to show my friend how we bless the food. Their dialogue went like this:

God our Father (repeat), once again (repeat), we bow our heads to thank you (repeat), Amen (repeat)
Now you say it.
That was nice! wait, I have to say it? But you just said it.
Yes…. and now you have to say it.
But I thought you said it for me?
No, everybody has to say it.
Ooooooooh, so you didn’t say grace for the whole table, I see.
Blair now has this serious, but perplexed look on her face.
What did you say Grace for? Who’s Grace? I don’t know anyone here named Grace.

Now we are hysterically laughing for at least 90 seconds, and the whole time, Blair is sitting there with this “For real… when are you guys gonna tell me who Grace is?” look on her face.
I was finally able to eventually gather myself and explain that some people say “grace” instead of “prayers”.


I was teaching a health lesson, and I wanted to get the kids’ opinions on the cafeteria lunches. One guy said, “I don’t like that they make us drink low fat milk and none of us are fat!

Other people’s kids say… #24

Posted: February 13, 2012 in Comedy, Other people's kids

**Mary Jo**

Dana (13 yrs old) was taking the plastic off a pack of gum. After several minutes and still not getting the plastic off she says “This gum must be blond proof…


It was around Christmas and I had to put Eli in a time out. As I left the room and told him he had to stay for 3 minutes he said “And a bah-hum-bug to you too!


Me: (while backing out of the driveway) “Did you brush your hair this AM?
8yo: “Nope. I forgot
Me: (pulling back into the driveway because the brush for the car has magically disappeared) “Run into the house and get the brush… (8 yo interrupts me)
8yo: “I’m NOT going into the house. It isn’t that big a deal to brush…. Oh wait! I’m sorry. I think I lost my mind for a second. I’ll be right back with the brush.

A friend of mine took their family down to Hampton’s homecoming. This would be both kid’s (boy 5, and girl 2) first football game. All the excitement of the band, cheerleaders, and overtime victory made for an excellent first time experience.  Well a few days later at home, the daughter is walking around the house kicking her legs out and stretching her arms all around.

Mom : “What are you doing?
Daughter : “I’m stretching…
Mom : “Stretching? Who stretches like that?
Daughter : “I’m stretching like the cheerleaders from the football game. This is what they do!

Big brother seeing all of this chimes in his thoughts : “Nuh uhhhh, this is what those cheerleaders were doing!

Now granted this is a blog… but nothing I can type can convey the imagery I was given. I want you to use your mind, and imagine a 5 year old boy with his face scrunched up, and doing exactly what is being done in this clip below. And when I say doing it, he was getting low!


So…. Chel and Madison are in the bed with Madison putting Keren to sleep. I’m in the kitchen (next to bedroom) cleaning it up.

Chel: “Shan…
Shannon: “What’s up?
Chel: “Guess what Madison said
Shannon: “What?
Chel: “She needs a new butt
Shannon: “Huh?
… Now I pause because I’m thinking Madison doesn’t like her butt. I never want my kids to have self esteem issues. Unpause…

Shannon: “Why is that?
Chel: “She says because she has a crack in it!


So “N” just got out the tub and was tugging on “Mr. Johnson”. So I say “Don’t do that bud, you’re going to hurt yourself“.
He quickly responds with “Mommy, Mr. J is fine with it, we already had a discussion about it!