Posts Tagged ‘travel’

Nariah says… #91

Posted: October 4, 2012 in Comedy, Nariah
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Most of you know that Nariah is a avid Cowboys fan. Well being here in Redskins country is bound to be full of interaction of opposing interests. Oddly enough, her afterschool program has staff that is split between the two teams. Nariah has taken a liking to one in particular who is down with the Cowboys. When I went down to the Cowboys home opener a few weeks ago, the request was made for me to find some nice Cowboys girly socks to bring back for Nariah’s new “protector”.
I didn’t find any socks down in Dallas, but… I did find this nice pack of Cowboys earrings; a set of three. A silver and blue star, a silver and pink star, and silver and blue Cowboys jerseys. I figured I could let her and “protector” figure out which ones they wanted to keep/share.  When I picked Nariah up after getting back, the deal was worked out that Nariah would keep the two stars and the “protector” would keep the jerseys. Kinda how I pictured it working out as Nariah really liked the stars.

*Flash forward a week*

I pick up Nariah and as we walk thru the halls, she says that another staff member is a dallas fan and asked did I get her something too. “I’m sorry boo, I didn’t think about that. “Protector” asked me about the socks, so I really only thought about that particular request.”
“Oh ok, I wish we had gotten something else to give “Side Protector” too.”
“Hmmmm, well…. you have 2 sets of earrings…. you could always give her one of those?”

Now at this point, the sound of the footsteps went from clip-clip clop-clop to just clip clop. It didn’t really register to me until I held the door open for Nariah to walk thru that she wasn’t walking. She was still in the hallway… looking at me with this “Say what?” look.
She finally comes and we near the car. I know exactly what she’s thinking, but I’m trying not to laugh because I don’t how Nariah would take me laughing at this point.
“Baby, what’s wrong? You said you wanted to get her something right?”
She gives me this look that says “Daddy, don’t make me do it!”

“Ummmmmmm, how about… we just get her something when we go to Dallas again? Yeah, lets do that.”
I really wish I had a picture of her turned up face as she said this, classic comedy.
“Whatever you want baby!”

We both then bust out laughing as we put on her seatbelt and drive off.

Nariah says… #87

Posted: September 10, 2012 in Comedy, Fatherhood, Nariah
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Last night’s conversation let me know I’m due for a long and expensive parenthood…

Its bedtime and the girls call me into Nariah’s bedroom for prayers. Toryn is getting over a cold and is on the last leg of his meds. I walk into the room and before I can get all they way in, Nariah stops me with a question.

“Daddy, can you go down stairs and get Toryn’s medicine for Mommy? Its in the fridge.”
“Oh ok, in the fridge huh?”
“Yep, in the door. Thanks Daddy!”

Now this is the conversation that takes place while I’m downstairs looking for the medicine :

“Thanks for asking Daddy for me Nariah, I was going to go get it, but thanks!”
“You’re welcome, Daddy’s nice.”
“You really like asking Daddy to do things for you don’t you?”
“Yep! He always says yes to me!”
“Oh he does? You sure?”
“Yep! Oooooh, I know! When he comes back upstairs, I’m going to ask him can we go to Disney this year!”
“Disney Nariah? We just went this summer baby.”
“Hmmm, you’re right… I guess we should wait til Toryn’s a little bit older… How about….. when he’s 4? Then I’ll be 8… yeah!”
“Hahahah if you say so Nariah.”
“Yep, he’s gonna take us!”

I return back upstairs with the medicine and walk into the room.
“OK, here you go, everybody ready for prayers?”
“Yeah Daddy. I have a quick question tho……”

Nariah says… #85

Posted: September 2, 2012 in Comedy, Nariah
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It was a nice spur of the moment Saturday. We decided to go down to DC to see the MLK Jr memorial since we haven’t seen it yet. I thought it would be cool if we took Nariah’s new bike down and learned to ride on the waterfront afterwards. So we saw the memorial and rode the bike. Nice fun time. As we’re winding down, Toya is changing Toryn’s diaper at the car. Nariah and I walk to the waters edge to see the airplanes landing at Reagan airport. Now over the past month or so, Nariah has claimed that she’s speedy fast. So fast, that she is in fact, faster than everyone in the family, especially me. Sooooo, she decides to challenge me right here and now.

“Daddy, lets race now, and I’ll show you I’m faster than you!”
“Oh boy… Nariah, now? We’ve been walking all day, and you’ve been riding your bike, and my neck is still sore from that diving incident.”
“Awww man, we’re never gonna race.”
“But Nariah, you can’t beat me. I am Daddy!” Yes, I said this in the ominous booming voice full of deep bass.
“Yes I can, you don’t understand, I’m speedy fast, my legs go like this…” and she proceeds to run in place and then displays the Usain Bolt victory pose.

So now I’ve been punked… again by my daughter. Its on now!
“Ok, you asked for it! Just know this, I’m not your friend right now, this is war! What tree are we going to?”

We agree on the tree and… on your mark… get set… go!

Like I’m sure all parents do, I toyed with her for a little bit before winning by a good measure. I got to the tree first and did a maniacal laugh for extra fun, “Muah ha ha hahahahah, I am… DADDY!!!!!!”

(A little backdrop for what happens next. I play basketball with a bunch of coworkers every Tuesday and Nariah comes with me until Toya picks her up on her way home from work. Most of us are older guys, but there are a few younger whippersnappers in there who run up and down the court like little jackalopes that drank three 5hour energy drinks and a red bull.)

“Ok, this wasn’t right! Daddy, we’re racing back to the other tree, and this time, run like you run at basketball.”
“At basketball? I thought you said I look good out there?”
“You do daddy, but you’re slow, you run like this…”
Nariah proceeds to sloppily jog in place like a slow zombie with her head flip flopping from side to side.
“That’s how I know I can beat you!”

I was dying laughing in between realizing my feelings were hurt. I guess I have to get in shape and keep up with the young whippersnappers when she’s looking.

Nariah says… #81

Posted: June 29, 2012 in Comedy, Nariah
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We just had a family reunion this past weekend. During casual morning conversation, Nariah inquires about a couple of my uncles, and who they are related to. Toya proceeds to tell Nariah how my two uncles are my mom’s brothers, and how they are all her Great Grandma’s children.

Nariah looks up with a shocked expression and says : “Grandma Wells had kids?!?!”

The innocence of kids, I tell ya.

Nariah says… #71

Posted: March 6, 2012 in Comedy, Nariah
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I walked in my bedroom the other night to find the kiddies laying on my bed. So I figure “Playtime!”. Natural response for a father seeing the little ones on the bed right?
“Ummm, you might not wanna play too much, Toryn has a poopie diaper, I think its a lot too. Just letting you know so it doesn’t ooze up the back, haha”
Yeah, that’s Toya’s way of saying “I’m outta here!” “Your turn!“.

That’s cool, poopie diapers don’t scare me. And besides, I have my #1 helper, Nariah, by my side.
Rip, Rip… 2 tabs undone. Almost into the diaper now.  Time to open up and see the damage.
So you can understand my exclamation, I will paint the picture for you.
There is poop EVERYWHERE! I mean in any and every crevice. And by that I mean I believe some of the poop made crevices of its own, and then put more poop inside those poop crevices. And Toryn is just a giggling and kicking and getting his feet into the poop. Oh man, it was a poopastrophe.

“Great Day!!!” (Yes I know that sounds country southern, but that is what came out my mouth. Pronounced like “greeeeate deigh”) “Toryn! You…..You have poop everywhere! Noooooo, don’t kick, nooooooo, not the toes! Toryn! You even have poop in your privates!”

Nariah peers over. She looks at Toryn. She looks at the poop. Then she looks at me with this perplexed look.
“Daddy? Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah baby.”
“Why do you say privates like that?”
“Like what?”
“Privates, with an ‘S’? You say it like he has a whole bunch of privates all over the place or something.”

I will say this, it is hard to laugh when you have an open poopie diaper and not get any on yourself, the bed, and/or the parts of the baby that normally don’t come in contact with poop.